“My husband is very critical of my ability to do [the Camino de Santiago], but I think with planning I can.”
I stopped and re-read her words. Again. And again. Who was this woman? Was her husband critical of other things in her life? Or was a genuine concern being perceived as criticism? I worried it was the former and not the latter.
The woman was about to start my course on preparing to walk the Camino de Santiago. My job was to help her – and all of my other students – make the best decision for themselves.
Prior to the first class, I’d sent an email asking students why they were taking the class. Most of the answers were expected – a friend had done it and so they thought it sounded interesting; they were avid hikers; they saw the movie, The Way.
But I was unexpectedly moved when when the aforementioned student shared her husband’s misgivings with me.
I’m not from a generation where wives need permission or approval from their husbands. My husband and I travel together or–quite often–independently. Would he love me to join him on a trans-Atlantic cruise? Yes. Would I love him to walk more Caminos with me? Absolutely. But this post isn’t about us.
It’s about you.
Is someone’s disapproval holding you back from walking the Camino de Santiago?
The messages we need in life often come back to us over and over again. Today, I am grateful for Carolina Wilke reminding us all once again:
Don't share your goals or ask for advice from people who don't have what you want.
At the beginning, we don't hold enough confidence that we can make it happen, and this new desire can be easily shaken when we don't get approval from the people we like.
Hold the vision for yourself.
Surround yourself with people who have what you want – people who have moved to a different country, learned a different language, started a new business, who have given birth to that secret desire.
Then you become the person who has that too. You bring your vision into life, you live your desire, and then you start sharing with your friends. You inspire them.
You become the one who represents possibility, not the one who needs approval.
As Maya Angelou once said,
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
Whatever it is that you most desire, seek out and surround yourself with those who believe in you. If your desire is to walk the Camino de Santiago, I’ve got you. I believe in you.
With love,
Rebecca
I’m 83. For my 74th birthday, I walked the Camino with Rebecca. Here at the end, I can tell you it was the adventure of my life.
“Life is fleeting” is a cliché, but let me tell you, that’s because it’s true. And, “at the end it’s what you didn’t do, not what you did that will matter,” is also true. Don’t let anyone “rain on your parade,” if you must – carry an umbrella, but keep moving to “your own drummer.” Do not hesitate to live “your one wild and precious life.” All true.
Midwest, small town, married 1959, Catholic, I accepted all the commandments handed down for centuries by men - until I didn’t. MY life began at age 60 by questioning “who says?” Once I saw who was behind “the green curtain,” I pulled the plug. Untethered, I set out to make death bed memories. I’ve drifted down the Yangtze, took butter tea in Tibet, watched solo bull elephants cross the Serengeti, floated on the Amazon, chewed coco leaves in Peru, awed by the Louvre, and blessed by ocean water poured down on me by humpback whales…
If you have the opportunity to walk the Camino, DO IT. I could not have had a more knowledgeable and patient guide than Rebecca. It was challenging but standing on those huge rocks at Muxia, waves crashing, I never felt more alive, more connected to the universe, and proud. Don’t let anyONE be your excuse from living your only life.
Beautiful reflection Rebecca! I am happy my newsletter inspired you! It's not easy, but once this desire is fully embodied, even the ones not supporting us, change their energies! keep going! THIS IS YOUR CALLING!